31 March 2010

The Local Hotel

I have to relay a funny story about the local South Caicos hotel, the only operational hotel on the island. It's funny only because it didn't happen to me. From outward appearances, the hotel is modest, but fairly nice. From what we've heard, however, they charge exorbitant rates and provide dismal service. Budget accommodations at luxury rates.

The South Caicos Ocean & Beach Resort

Recently a student's mother came to visit for Parent's Day. She, of course, had no choice but to stay at the "South Caicos Ocean & Beach Resort" (the hotel's official name). One of the mornings she was here, she decided to have breakfast at the hotel.

She ordered french toast, and a few minutes later the waitress came out with two pieces of buttered toast. Just regular toast. The student's mother politely informed them that she had intended to order the french toast, to which the waitress replied "this is french toast." Taken aback, the student's mother wondered if, in the Caribbean, they just had different names for these things, and she decided to explain what American french toast was. "Normally, french toast for us is bread that's been dipped in a cinnamon egg batter and fried in a pan. But thank you, I'll have this toast and order something more from the menu."

"Oh, we can't make that kind of toast. We don't have any eggs," the waitress told her as she handed back the menu.

The student's mother looked down through the menu a second time:
  • French Toast
  • Omelet
  • Fried Eggs
  • Scrambled Eggs
  • Eggs Sunny-Side Up
  • Hard-Boiled Eggs
  • Soft-Boiled Eggs
  • Poached Eggs
  • Quiche
  • Eggs Over Easy
  • Bacon and Eggs
  • Sausage and Eggs
  • Egg and Cheese Bagel
  • Pancakes and Syrup
After a moment's hesitation she said, "I'll have the pancakes and syrup, please." All but one item on them menu called for eggs, but the hotel was somehow unprepared for such an unusual request.

Eventually the waitress returned with a short stack of pancakes and an open can of Hershey's chocolate syrup. "Enjoy," she told the only customer she'd likely serve for several months to come.

This is the "beach" at the Ocean and Beach Resort

As described on the official website of the Turks and Caicos Tourism Board (http://www.turksandcaicostourism.com/stay-south-caicos.html), the South Caicos Ocean & Beach Resort is "simply 'Out of the Ordinary.'"

** This is my own narrative of an actual event as it was explained to me. I've never been to the hotel, ate at their restaurant, or even seen their menu. But I've heard more stories than this about their "out of the ordinary" service.

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